Director: J. Lee Thompson
Written by: John Saxton, Peter Jobin & Timothy Bond
Starring: Melissa Sue Anderson, Glenn Ford, Lawrence Dane, Sharon Acker, Frances Hyland, Tracey E. Bregman, Ann Thomerson, Jack Blum, Matt Craven.
Music by: Bo Harwood & Lance Rubi
Taglines: “Six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see.”
“It’ll be a killer party!”
“John will never eat shish kebab again. Steven will never ride a motorcycle again. Greg will never lift weights again. Who’s killing the school’s snobbish top ten? At the rate they’re going there will be no one left for Virginia’s birthday party… alive.”
“Pray You’re Not Invited To The Party.”
“You’re invited to the bloodiest party of the year.”
STORY
A group of rich kids at Crawford Academy drink, play and socialise with each other with little regard for anyone outside their group, and petty rivalries within it. They start to disappear one by one, sometimes turning up again, sometimes not.
Meanwhile one of their number, Virginia, has a turbulent past unknown to everybody else. She had been seeing a psychiatrist to help her recover from a head injury a few years before. Suffering from blackouts, she is trying to remember the exact cause of her accident and what relevance it has to current events surrounding her.
OPINION
Happy Birthday To Me is a real mish-mash of a movie that manages to embody many of the things that went wrong during the 80s slasher boom while simultaneously managing to be a pretty entertaining movie.
Following the incredible success of Friday The 13th (unusual at the time both because of the large mainstream profit it made and the fact that it was distributed by a major studio), most of the major studios and many independents started work on a glut of slasher movies. As with their inspiration, most of these films revolved around groups of teenagers or young adults, having their fun interrupted by a series of horrific, graphic murders. These would usually include a twist reveal of the killer. Happy Birthday To Me is a movie that really pushes that convention.
After a short murder sequence to whet our appetites, we are introduced to our protagonists as they taunt the townspeople in the local bar where they prefer to hang out. After pulling a dumb prank that would get most people banned from the bar, they participate in a game of chicken, driving over an opening bridge. One of the girls in the group, Virginia, freaks out and runs off into the woods…
From here, it should be straightforward. Most of these people are clearly going to die – a group of spoiled brats are fairly good fodder. However, the script seems to delight in throwing in as many red herrings as the writers could think of. These include various disappearances, the discovery of what appears to be a grave on campus and most strangely of all, Virginia’s past.
The Virginia plot thread is interesting but shakily handled. The purpose seems to be to cast doubt on the character who would normally be the “final girl” in most slasher movies. Relatively innocent and naive, she doesn’t participate in most of the practical jokes and is a relative newcomer among this group. However, her past hides a dark secret, where she’s unable to recall important details of the crash that claimed her mother’s life and left her requiring experimental surgery to rebuild her mind. Questions are constantly raised – is Virginia cured, or is she hiding a darker secret?
Without spoiling too much, let’s just say that the answer to that question really isn’t all that satisfying. Far too much time is spent looking at petty rivalries and other red herrings that amount to nothing. Supposedly shot before an ending was actually written, there’s no real build-up to the final double-whammy ending that will leave most viewers shaking their heads in disbelief, then wondering what the hell’s going on as the twist-within-a-twist is revealed. Because of this, the impact of the final 10 minutes is of a movie that ends abruptly with no resolution.
Despite all this, it’s a decently entertaining movie for the most part. Thanks to Canadian funding rules, we get the usual Canadian “name” actor that appeared in these kind of films (in this case Glenn Ford). The appetite for quick profits also attracted talent behind the camera, including director J. Lee Thompson (most famous for directing Guns Of Navarone and the original Cape Fear). The talent really shows here, with a few well-staged action sequences and nice framing of the murders, although a little too much time tends to be spent on sports sequences that do little to further the plot. The murders are also quite inventive, although I don’t quite think the “most bizarre murders you will ever see” claim on the poster is really justified.
Overall then, a decent watch though I’m not sure I’ll return to it that often.
Rating: 
TRAILER
CENSORSHIP
Contrary to popular opinion at the time, there are no alternative endings to this movie. Supposedly, word was leaked that multiple endings were being shot to keep the real ending secret, but this appears to be a ploy to hide the fact that they hadn’t written one yet!
Although the film hasn’t been officially cut in the UK, there are actually 2 major versions of this movie. The DVD has slightly shorter gore shots in the kebab and weight lifting murder scenes and an alternative soundtrack. It also appears to be the only version currently available on DVD, although the UK VHS was the former version.